As more and more news continues to arise surrounding the progression of COVID-19, a lot of couples are experiencing feelings of anxiety and panic. Anxiety about theunknown and the fear of being in close quarters with their families and loved onesfor an extended period of time. Just a few weeks ago, we were living in a world thatwas encouraging a healthy balance of work, life, exercise and social mediaconnection and today we find ourselves glued to our phones, media outlets withextracurricular activities cancelled and the feeling of being “stuck” in the sameenvironment as our loved ones. Although this all seems true, lets explore somehealthy ways to manage our own emotions and nurture our relationships duringthis time. Here are some quick tips to better help us create healthy boundaries inorder to provide space for the self-care we need and deserve!
1. Communicate- We constantly hear about the importance of havingopen and honest communication, and during this time, communicationis more important that ever. The more you are able to feel heard andhear others, the closer you will be. Share your feelings, vulnerabilities,goals and dreams. We are happier when we are working toward agoal than when we have achieved one. Make sure you always havesomething to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple.
2. Allow Space- Being in close quarters can be difficult, so honor oneanother’s space and give each other space, especially when it isrequested. Whether alone time is being taken in another room orsilently next to one another, this is an important tactic to help resetyourself. You can also consider taking space through doing differentat home hobbies (i.e. yoga, video games, etc.). There is no right orwrong way to do this, but listen to your bodies when it is asking to takea break and get some space.
3. Get Creative- Whether its finding things to do with children (i.e. kidyoga, building forts, playing a new board game, etc.) or finding thingsto do with your partner (cooking, planning an indoor date night, ordownloading the Gottman cards app for an intimate talk etc.), planningnew and exciting things together can help keep things fun and fresh.
4. Distract- It is difficult to turn off the news and turn off social mediaapps. We are in a current state of unknown, which leads to fear, whichcan increase anxiety. Learning about productive anxiety andunproductive anxiety can help you learn to find a balance andminimize the unproductive anxiety. In order to do this, you will need todistract. It is OK to take a break from the constant news, mediapostings and Instagram postings. So find a healthy distraction like awarm bath, an online yoga class or meditation and engage in that fora bit! Or find something that you like to do indoors and do it together!
5. Support- Be willing to work through difficulties and disagreementstogether. Provide each other with emotional support, validation andcompliments as needed. If you are together for a while, there will belosses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weatheringthe storms together is a big part of what relationships are all about.
6. Take Responsibility- Being able to admit mistakes and to talk aboutthem is the first step in repairing a rupture. Learning to understandand let go of mistakes that you, your partner or family members make,will give you more time for joy.No matter how what steps you choose to take to help you during thistime, remember that we can all do this and we are all in this together!